Author's Note: I chose to write my story based off of "the Dog, the Cock, and the fox" in Aesop (Winter.) I wanted to go with a writing style that was able to make two seemingly dark characters more appealing to a reader. I wanted to give a backstory that the reader could understand, and possibly sympathize a little more for, but not wholeheartedly. I like having a flawed protagonist.
Far off on a distant farm lived a dog, Drake, and a cock, Chandler. The two became a tandem at a young age when they lived on the farm. Drake was strong and intimidating, but he wasn’t the brightest or fastest animal in the neighborhood. Chandler was cunning and could think of the perfect schemes to get what he wanted, but he lacked the muscle to make any of his plans come to fruition. They soon grew tired of the rules and regulations of the farm, so they decided to run away to the forest to live a life like bandits. They had personalities and traits that were able to mesh together to make the perfect dynamic duo for their dastardly deeds along the main path through the forest, Central Road.
For years they lurked along the Central Road swindling all the travelers that came along the treacherous road by themselves. They were the perfect one-two combination to take-out any weary travelers that stumbled into their neck of the woods. They were able to be so effective because Chandler was able to lure any hungry travelers in with ease since he could let out a very boisterous crowing noise at ease, he actually one first place at the county crowing contest in ‘95, and most of the travelers thought he would be an easy meal. His call could be heard from miles away. Once a would-be predator came close enough, Drake was ready to pounce and take them out. They had the perfect system working for them.
Like everything in life, their dream scenario could not last forever. Word began to spread all across the forest that there was a pair of thugs creeping along the shadows of the road waiting for vulnerable travelers to eat. After the word spread about all of the missing people that traveled that part of the road, a new trail was formed to circumnavigate Drake and Chandler’s stomping grounds. Soon their cushy life of luxury became a lot more difficult. They would often go days without eating, and they even had to resort to foraging and eating insects on occasion.
They were growing tired of eating plants and bugs since it was not even close to the feasts that they had grown accustom to over the years. They decided they would have one last meal as bandits, and then they would return to the farm to live an honest life. Luckily, Chandler was in his usual pattern of crowing every morning when he awoke from his slumber. It finally paid off again one morning when a hungry fox, Frank, happened to be trotting along around their area of the Central Road. Frank was not from the forest, so he had no idea about the trap that lay ahead for him. He quickly followed the echoing sound of Chandler’s call. He finally got close enough to turn Chandler into his breakfast, but Drake sprang from the shadows and made quick work of Frank. Drake and Chandler were finally full again. They decided to return to the farm after their food digested.
(the dog, the cock, and the fox illustration
Source: Aesop (Winter) 1919)
"The dog, the cock, and the fox" - from Aesop for Children, with illustration by Milo Winter (1919) Source: Un-Textbook
I'm not sure if your method in making the characters more "gray" morally strengthened the narrative. The part I found particularly odd was how you didn't necessarily enrich the backstory of why Chandler and Drake's desire to become bandits, and that just makes them seem like classical bad guys. To me, it just seems like a big leap for the audience to make in appraising these characters: going from childhood rebels to criminals. Surely something more dramatic (than not liking rules on the farm) happened to make them turn down that path that was as dark as you portray it, right? Anyway, just my thoughts! Good job overall!
ReplyDeleteHi Jamison!
ReplyDeleteI was super excited to see that you wrote your story based on one of Aesop’s Fables. I have a soft spot for Aesop that started when I was in elementary school. I liked that you chose a fable with the fox in it; the fox is one of my favorite Aesop characters. Your idea of trying to give the cock and the dog a backstory was a good one. Nice job!
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ReplyDeleteWell, I deleted my post cause it wasn't long enough (whoops!) but here's my feedback. I liked your story a lot (like O'Terrica, one of my favorite characters and animals in general is the fox) but I do have a couple of suggestions to make. First, and this is something I've learned through my journalism classes, varying the length of your paragraphs will make the story flow more smoothly. They weren't especially long, but some variation will keep the reader's eye moving further down the page instead of just side-to-side as they read. Also, I liked the backstory but felt there could've been more. Even just a few sentences explaining a rough background would've made the main characters stick out. There were also a couple of minor grammatical errors (sorry to sound nitpicky), but nothing that can't be explained by a simple oversight or typing too fast! Overall, I think you did a good job retelling this story!
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