Wednesday, February 11, 2015

Storytelling Week 5: A Wise King

King Vimbasara ran back to his chariot with more vigor than ever. He had to get back to his city, Rajagriha. After listening to Siddhartha, he knew was going to change the way he ruled his kingdom. He was going to be a king of the people for the people. He could not get the horse that was pulling his chariot to go fast enough. 

King Vimbasara had a new outlook on life now. The things he had learned from Siddhartha would stay with him forever. He no longer longed for wearing the flashiest jewelry or finest clothes. Material things were not of priority to him anymore. He just wanted to become more enlightened now. He now knew that he had much to learn before he could become the best king for his people. Vimbasara was determined to better himself now. He had never reflected on how he served his people before. He now realized he had been self-centered before conferring with the wise Siddhartha. He deeply wanted for Siddhartha to become Buddha; he knew there was much to learn from him. 

He finally arrived at the mighty gates of Rajagriha at dusk. He greeted the guards with a hearty hello and even shook their hands. The guards did not know what to say or do when their king embraced them like so. They looked at one another completely befuddled. They had never been allowed to touch the king before; that was an act that was condemnable by death if the king saw fit  He left the guards and walked up to the citadel in a way that no one had ever witnessed before. King Vimbasara was talking to every person that he saw on his walk. He did not care how poor, young or decrepit they were. All of the people were his people now. The citizens of Rajagriha were in disbelief. The king looked the same, but he was not acting like the king that they knew. He was listening to what his people had to say. He was treating them like equals with the way that he conversed with them. He longer perceived them as being lowly commoners; he was now thinking of how he could serve them.

King Vimbasara arrived at his keep, and he had a plan. He sent out an order for all of the people of Rajagriha to gather in the town square. His servants rushed to him bringing out exquisite wardrobe options for him to choose from. He declined to wear the fine garments that he was used to. He opted for some subtle threads that had been made in the city. He decided to walk to the town square instead of taking the royal chariot. He wanted to bond with his people again. Once at the town square, he declared for all of Rajagriha that he was going to change the way he ruled. He promised all that he would serve them as their dutiful king instead. No longer would he think of them as serving him. He promised to make Rajagriha the best city to live in. The people of Rajagriha rejoiced with their reborn king.


Author's Note: This is based off of the story of Siddhartha and King Vimbasara. In the story King Vimbasara meets Siddhartha on his journey to becoming Buddha. He is encapsulated by the knowledge of Siddhartha. He wanted to bring him back to Rajagriha to rule with him. He wanted to know more from the enlightened Siddhartha.

I really enjoyed the King Vimbasara character in the story. I loved how he was so humbled by Siddhartha, a hermit at the time, even though he was a king. I chose to write this from a third person perspective to adequately tell the events that unfolded after his life-altering meeting with Siddhartha.

Bibliography: The Life of Buddha by Andre Ferdinand Herold (1922)



5 comments:

  1. You might want to write what changed the king's mind into the story. I haven't read the original story and I was kind of lost until I read the author's note but I still don't really know what made him change his mind. But other than that, it was very well written. I love stories that have people who have change of hearts and act completely different.

    ReplyDelete
  2. What a great story. I liked how you just started the story without any initial explanation and you left it for the reader to figure out as he read. I also like to moral that “the least of these” are generally the best leaders. I haven’t read the unit this story was in but now I want to. You also did a great job with the intricate descriptions and describing the kings mindset.

    ReplyDelete
  3. From previous comments, I guess it just depends on the reader whether or not you should include the why of the king's change of heart. I personally enjoyed the mystery. I usually start my stories off without an introduction. It allows the reader to test his or her own creativity in order to fill in the blanks. This was overall a welcomed optimistic story!

    ReplyDelete
  4. I really like the way that you just jumped into the storytelling here; it enticed me to continue reading the rest of the story. In response to previous comments, I guess I think that it doesn't matter why the king had his change of heart. The important part is the fact that his ruling style is going to change. Good job on your storytelling.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Hey, Jamison. It was really intriguing how you jumped right into the middle of the action in your story; it definitely gripped me from the start, and then your characterization of the king kept me hooked throughout. However, I feel like the change in the king was so sudden and dramatic that you might want to think about placing more background in your story, perhaps as flashbacks or thoughts of the king. In any case, it was a great story, nice and concise, and I really enjoyed it. Great job!

    ReplyDelete